As an English major, I'm quite intrigued by the linguistic peculiarities within and surrounding my college. The colloquialisms abound like you wouldn't believe. I've lived in Florida all my life, but never have I heard such an...interesting take on the English language. Allow me to provide you with a few, poignant examples:
Elevator: (n) 1) a large, muscular, unusually attractive male between the ages of 20 and 23 who hoists between one and two hundred sets mini-fridges, pillows, tv's, stereos, large make-up cases and the like, up three flights of rickety stairs between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm in Floridian heat. He can be distinguished from the mere 'boyfriend' by noting that he is decked in Grecian symbolism denoting his political, financial, and sexual preferences. Also, he is usually surrounded by his soft, elegant female counterparts, not jealous freshman girls glaring at anyone who comes within a twenty-eight point six-six-seven yard radius of 'her man' 2) a male person of any state of physical stature, ranging in age between 40 and 60, who can be found carrying one unusually large set of dorm supplies up three flights of rickety stairs. He can be distinguished from the younger form by the following: profuse sweating, hovering wife and/or daughter(s) who carry nothing, golf attire, and the usual signs of heart attack.
Karioke: (n) a full-contact sport including stripping, booty-dancing college presidents, stagnant air, and some singing
Moccasin: (n) a snake. Though its connotation can lead one to believe you are being called 'a soft leather shoe worn, stereotypically, by Native Americans and given as presents to young maidens by the mythical, seducer-dragonfly, Cocopolo', it truly means that you are a venomous, high-strung, cold-blooded, irrational, reptilian member of a college.
Freshman: (n) someone in his or her first year of college. Despite having 31 (yes, t-h-i-r-t-y o-n-e) credits, I am in a freshman dorm, a freshman-baby-how-to-deal-with-life class, and have been listed on every non-necessary paper as a freshman. So, though my official transcript with the college says I'm a sophomore and will be outta here in 3 years, I'm still a freshman.
Tankle: (n) a sound somewhat like the northern 'tinkle' but said with a raspy Southern accent.
I'm sure, as the year progresses, that I'll be able to entertain you with more exciting elocution
on this invigorating subject. For the moment, I'm going to sleep in my wonderful room, with its wonderful view, to the wonderful sound of my neighbors slowly making their way in from ladies' night at the tiki bar, and dreaming of everything to come.
And Kat, I wish you a warm walk from your shower. ^.^
t h e . l u n c h . g r o u p
AIU Online
At 11:52 AM,
Gato said…
thanks for enlightnening me, and thanks for the warm shower wish :O). I'm trying to think of any strange and unique Clark lingo, but i'm going blank. I'll keep you posted. Love You.
Gato
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