Okay. So I'm sick of RETELLING the hell I went through last night. And I'm sick of thinking about the horrible nasty things said to me once my soon to be ex-roomate finally caught up with me. Condensed version: a lot of swearing, a lot of name calling, and a lot of hatered. I cried when she was done and gone (never let them see you cry). I stood up for myself, but I didn't resort to her tactics. I did curse, but I didn't call her names and I didn't direct the curses at her they were more...adjectives... Okay. No excuse on a daily basis, but she wasn't exactly making this an everyday tiff. It was bad. I was scared. So scared, that I'm sleeping in Tiff's vacant room for the night (she's at her fiancee's) and I'm moving in the morning. YES! Tomorrow really IS a BRAND NEW DAY with NO MISTAKES IN IT!
I'm so happy that I'm going, I could almost cry. I'm moving a floor down and across the bldg, but no matter. The girls there are nice (at first glance) and I might be really happy there, all hermited up in my room whenever I feel like it. No one coming and disturbing me unless I SAY THEY MAY. No one with a key but the RA's and ME. It's like I'm getting my freedom. Pure succulent unadultered FREEDOM. It's so glorious. No more worries for tonight. Silent room. Silent brain. Silent night. AHhhh the bliss.
I'm okay. Really I am. I was a MESS earlier. I was crying and depressed and trying not to throw up. But I"m okay now. I'm proud of myself. Proud that I'm moving on and out. Proud that I recognized a bad influence and instead of trying to save a useless friendship, I just got the crap (that word wasn't originally there...had to censor myself) out of there. No more high school manipulation. No more sobbing over downed expectations. I can look, analyze, and make a choice to take the risk or let it lie. And after all that gung-ho talk, I'm going to shower and go to bed. I'll try to be on later if possible =).
t h e . l u n c h . g r o u p
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